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myspaceheres my myspace
heres my charmed myspace
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you would like to see in the world.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
I remind myself of the
power of thought
and how
it's my obligation
as a citizen and student
of humanity to propel compassion
- Alyssa Milano
For me, there is no hope without faith.
Faith in a higher good. Faith in our own divinity.
- Alyssa Milano
My passion,
should be clear
and
please know
it runs deep
within all levels of
my consciousness.
I feel it.
I feel everything.
THE GIRL WITH GOLDEN HAIR
Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl
that lived in a beautiful house,and she had golden hair.
Every night when she was asleep people would come in her house
and take a piece of her hair.After awhile the gold was gone.
And the people started to become hungry.And the people said oh no shes not beautiful at all.So the people took her
out of the beautiful house and drove her into the street and then they never saw her again.
-Gia Carangi
Life and death
energy and peace
if i stop today
it was all worth it......
............heaven on earth
back again
into
under
far inbetween
through it
in it
and above..................
- Gia Carangi
around me asleep,thinking over the day in total
disbelief.My life is a cycle the same everyday,
breakfast,school,work,dinner and oh so much more,
tripping on shoes left on the floor.
The arguing the fighting,im constantly ignored,
A Mother and Wife i wish to be NO More!
The occasional I Love You then fall off to sleep,
No touching,laughing or secrets to keep,
forgotten,abandoned,alone once again to fight
for the light in the darkness again.
What happened to passion?where did it go?
My home is my prision i made for myself,my
children my gates to keep me in check,my husband
a stranger i no longer know.
what do i do? what do i say?
I know the Darkness is coming to take me away.
BROKEN
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Cause Im broken when Im lonesome
And I dont feel right when youre gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
Theres so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore
My eyes wide open flooded without chance
My arms scarred and twisted talk of unforgotten foes
As the beasts lie dormant whilst my mind is closed
Simplicity so difficult for my memories to grasp
Friendships dead and buried where I failed to grasp
Seldom does the time come where the worlds technicolour
Instead black and gray lost within one another
My heart beats gently against the pain in my chest
Holes appear beneath my eyes from lack of rest
Bad news befalls those who wait for it to come
I wait for it daily, every day there is some
Curtains block out sunlight which burns the skin
Puffy red eyes reflect night upon night of sin
Tears of bittersweet hatred flow soothingly down my face
Pride at my failures, distraught with disgrace
Echoes from a soul lost deep within time
Each day brings new trials to consume my tattered mind
Hurt ensnares hope with its fingerless hand
Longing within tragedy for the world to understand
Honours lie broken in shards upon the floor
My arms are enslaved to wreak havoc behind this black door
Blow upon blow as my defenses fall down
Blood pours so gently splattering to the ground
Life becomes nothing but a search for redemption
Destroying each of our precious creations
Forgiveness unwanted as I lose sense of time
My one true escape is knowing that you, love, are mine
But yet still feel this pain?
Is it okay if I love him,
Even though he doesn't feel the same?
Do you think some day,
Everything will change?
Or do you think everything,
Will always stay the same?
Will I still have to smile,
When I'm frowning inside?
Will life ever turn around,
Or will I always feel down?
Will I continue to walk around,
Acting like it doesn't hurt?
Will my life always be a lie,
Hidden deep inside?
Will anyone ever know,
What its like to be me?
Cant anyone see,
I just wanna be free?
Will my feelings ever go away?
Will I ever be okay?
All of these questions,
I ask myself everyday.
that you couldn't breathe,
have you ever had someone stab you in the back,
and laugh as they watch you bleed?
have you ever loved someone so much, but they never understood?
have you ever been abused for being bad,
when you were trying so hard to be good?
have yo ever cried a billion tears,
asking God "why?",
and do you know how it feels to fall asleep at night,
wishing you would die?
have you ever had a man take your innocence, and throw it out the door?
and you live each day in fear,
wondering if he'll come back for more...
have you ever had girl threaten to take your life,
and yo try not to show your fear,
but it hurts too bad to hide?
have you ever been thrown against a wall, with a gun held to your head?
and those words whispered in your ear that say,
if you fight me you'll be dead...
have you ever thought you could trust someone, but they just throw you around,
and you try so hard to hold back the tears, as you hit the ground?
have you ever watched your brother lie in front of you,
and slowly fade away?
and you're just too young to understand, he won't be there the next day?
have you ever watched your best friend get shot, outside your favorite store?
have you ever overdosed on drugs,
because you just couldn't take anymore?
do you really know what it feels like,
to have your heart get burned?
have you ever left your house,
unsure if you'll return?
have you ever looked to the stars at night,
and prayed for the pain to end?
begging please just take it away,
and the next day you feel it again?
have you ever been so far away,
from the only one you ever loved?
but he tells you just hold on,
and you love him too much, you just can't give up?
have you ever told yourself to hold on,
please don't fall apart?
have you ever really listened,
to a young girl's broken heart?
do yo know how hard it is,
for me to face another day?
if you don't then tell me why,
you treat me this way?
have yo ever felt the pain i have,
do you know how i feel?
have yo ever thought about your past,
and just wished it wasn't real?
have you ever been face to face with rape,
and you can't pull away?
do you know how it feels when you can't move,
you just let him have his way?
and you can't think, can't even breathe,
don't even get a chance to fight,
and everytime you think about that night,
all you wanna do is cry...
have you ever watched your mom,
fall farther and farther away from your kiss?
and you wonder why it had to be her,
why is life like this?
have you ever screamed for help,
wishing someone would hear?
but no one hears your cries,
no one sees your tears...
have you ever been through,
all the things i've been through?
if you haven't then tell me why,
you treat me like you do...
Most times, people come into a situation with a well centered focus.
Unfortunately, no hocus-pocus can make everything come out the way you would like.
In my eyes, if I can’t accomplish my purpose, I might as well go take a hike and fly a kite.
My heart is pulled in so many directions;
One way says to help the youth, and another says to go the pastoral route.
However, I’m only reminded about my imperfections.
Just when I think that I have found something that I have thought to be good,
It blows up in my face like a ticking time bomb.
Is this the Lord’s way of telling me that it’s my time?
My time to step into the ministerial anointing that He established before I was even born.
Through this uncertainty I just hope that I come to a conclusion that’ll please the Lord;
For it’s only in Christ that I will find my reward.
That day you told me What you did Was the worst day of my live I fault like there was no one in this world that I cud trust anymore Sitting on the phone u say u care A tear rolls down my check Knowing that that’s a lie Because if u did care Like u said u did U won’t have been wit her My eyes are filled with tears And My heart is broken And Filled with hate and betrayal My trust for u is broken U say that you are sorry And you no what u did was wrong But If u no that it was wrong then why did u do it? I cant believe that I thought u were going be different That you would never hurt me Make me cry Brake me hard Or bring back those thoughts of suicide But I was wrong you aren’t different Your just like them You don’t care about me Nor do you care about my feelings
I am really terrified That I trust the wrong people in my life It’s a nightmare That wakes me up at night Fake friends I’ve seen them before But I’m not sure If I can take anymore The worst pain in the world Is being stabbed in the back by a friend And I really just can’t stand the thought Of feeling that way again I am terrified More so of my friends then of my enemies Of those who have or may Deceive me Play a part Break my heart Fool me with a distorted image Of who they are I know I may be paranoid When I see so many who don’t even care But I can’t bear Conspiracies forming When I am unaware So I keep alert To keep myself from getting hurt Second-guess friends Think the worst Dump guys before they can dump me Check who can’t look me in the eyes And I try To live a normal life Not so afraid Not so terrified
